My Psilocybin Journey: from lost to found

April 4, 2021 | Nigel Mash

Here, Nigel Mash explores how his experience taking psychedelic mushrooms - psilocybin - allowed him to delve inwards and feel a deeper connection to the natural world around him. Through charting the history of the drug, Mash contemplates its potential to, through spiritual connection and introspection, readdress our balance with nature so severed by a culture fixated on the material.

It was a New Year’s morning - around 3am - when my friend and I started by drinking a warm tea containing about fifty mushrooms, which swam around the cup like tadpoles. After drinking the amber liquid, we munched down on the mushrooms, which by now were soft and squidgy after their long soak. The taste doesn’t suit everyone, some of my friends add flavouring like honey to ease up the taste, but I like its earthiness.

After digesting the mushrooms there is a moment of calm and a complete acceptance of what is to come and the paths of understanding I might find myself on. Once we drank and chewed our mushrooms, we set off on a walk, equipped with only a torch and some warm clothes. Twenty minutes in, everything started to change shape. As we walked up the lanes, the trees started to come alive, each with their own strange stance. We stopped at a lovely old oak tree, and as we stood underneath its bare strong boughs, I could feel its roots connecting to the soles of my feet, connecting in an unshakeable brotherly bond. Noises were becoming enhanced, colours and patterns started to show themselves to me and as I looked up at the clouds in the sky, they formed symmetrical shapes, like those kaleidoscopes we had as kids. The moisture in the air turned into reds, purples, and greens creating a colourful white noise. After about thirty minutes I realised that I was tripping quite heavily and the idea that there was more to come excited me. We both experienced a strong desire to head towards the Welsh hills looming in the distance (here on the border, the English side is flat and congested with bright lights and lorries moving along the main road like neo-lite worms moving through grass). We had both lived for a long time in the hills of Wales, and the sense of keeping to that environment comforted us and as we moved through the fields, we came across something strange – two-dimensional black sheep. These sheep didn’t seem scared of us like others would normally, they moved just in front of us, weaving in and out of the shrubs. They had no real depth, and appeared as flat felt sheep, created by a kid in school for show and tell. We left the field and headed back onto the lanes. It was still early days of this visionary quest and we knew we had hours to go.

Psilocybin

Psilocybin is a natural occurring psychedelic compound found in over two-hundred species of fungi. The most prevalent species of mushroom are the Psilocybe Semilanceata, which are found in many fields and hills around Britain during the autumn months. Otherwise known as the liberty cap, they are a yellowy-brown colour when damp and can reach up to 2.5cm in diameter with a small nipple-like protrusion on top. When wet you will see groovy lines running down the side. These Welsh liberty caps have taken me on many wonderful journeys beyond our realties, allowing me to step out of my body and see things differently.

These powerful sensory changes have been well researched. Chris Niell, a neuroscientist at the University of Oregon, ran a study on the effects of another psychoactive compound, (4-iodo-2,5-dimethoxyphenylisopropylamine (DOI)), on mice. The mice were shown geometric patterns on a screen

whilst the researchers studied the activity of neural pathways in the primary cortex of the brain, where visual information is processed. The timing of the neurons’ movements were unusual; where normally the neurons in the visual cortex exploded with activity, those in the mice on DOI were disrupted. Anil Seth writes that:

“The basic idea is that hallucination occurs when the brain pays too little attention to incoming sensory signals, so that perception becomes unusually dominated by the brain’s prior expectations.”

So, the brain experiences sensual data as electrical impulses that is read as a model of the world. Psilocybin can therefore change the way we interpret these sensory signals and by extent, the way we interpret the world.

Psilocybin History

Psilocybin and other plants/fungi have been used for their psychedelic effects throughout history. Indeed, due to their commonality it is very likely homo sapiens exploring the land may have come across them and consumed them. This could have played a part in our evolutionary advancement, where homo sapiens senses become heightened after intaking the fungus, leading to greater ability to hunt and forage.

Terence McKenna, an American ethnobotanist and his brother Dennis Mckenna, both fell in love with mushrooms and other psychoactive plants in the 60s and spent a long time in the Amazon experimenting with Ayahuasca and gaining deep mystical insight from the fungi and plants. These mystical insights from the mushrooms, brought him to the ‘Stone ape’ theory, where he suggests that psilocybin catalysed human evolution, creating language, projective imagination, art, religion, philosophy and science. This hypothesis is not proven, but in 2017 at a psychedelic convention, Paul Stamets a mycologist, backed this up, saying:

“What is really important for you to understand is that there was a sudden doubling of the human brain 200,000 years ago. From an evolutionary point of view, that’s an extraordinary expansion. And there is no explanation for this sudden increase in the human brain.”

Yet there is scarce reference to the use of psulocibin in British history. Where it is found, it is shrouded in spirituality. For example, the two common mushrooms - fly agaric and liberty cap - were used by Druids to gain insight into the earth’s knowledge and their ancestor’s secrets. The fly agaric (amanita muscaria) mushroom is red with white spots, it is found in conifer and deciduous woodlands throughout the northern hemisphere. It is very strong and is believed to be reserved only for the Druid, as only those with high experience and practice in this field could handle its power. The mushrooms are also believed to be linked with the festival Samhain (meaning summer’s end) in preparation for the start of the darkest period of the year, when it was believed that both good and bad spirits would pass through different realms. Within these realms were fairies, pixies and leprechauns, all of which are common in hallucinations, and many people report seeing these sorts of beings and creatures during trips.

The use of psilocybin for divination and medicine is still common amongst the Mixe Indians of the eastern part of Oaxaca, Mexico. The mushrooms have names such as: ‘pi.'tpa’, meaning 'spindle whorl' or 'ene.ti.ic 'thunder's teeth' to describe the psilocybe mexicana and p. cordispora heim fungi. They believe that human disease is caused within the bones and that the mushroom is the only medicine that can penetrate it. The mushroom to them is sacred and is thus only found in sacred places. When found, the hunter kneels and lights a candle. Then, the mushroom is carefully picked and taken back to the house, where it is treated with a copal incense. The partaker must not copulate or eat meat, eggs or vegetables during this period. The day after consumption, they will eat chilli peppers, with meat and alcohol reintroduced into the diet after one month. This ceremonial process around the mushroom is important, as it is not just about eating the mushrooms, but about dedicating yourself to it and the processes around it.

Plant and fungi’s medicinal value has been known for some time, but the hallucinogenic side of them has been seen negatively here in Britain, commonly associated with witchcraft, poisoning and the devil. During the 1960s and 70s, the growth of the hippy era brought about the more common use of psilocybin as we know today, as it was the legal alternative to LSD. However, the legal status of psilocybin changed in 2005 when the British government passed the Drugs Act, banning the use and selling of dried, packaged, or fresh mushrooms. Despite this, its popularity has grown in recent years. In 2016 49,000 people in Britain said they used psilocybin, growing to 101,000 in 2018 according to Home Office data.

Yet, new experimental medicine suggests that psilocybin can have positive effects on people suffering from a variety of mental health problems. MAPS (Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies) show the benefits of psychoactive substances for medicinal use and their research behind psylocibin as well as Ayahuasca, DMT, LSD, MDMA and other psychoactive substances is promising. They range from covering nicotine addiction, depressive disorders, attention deficits and PTSD. In 2012, a study carried out by John Hopkins University, showing the potential use of psilocybin on cancer patients:

“Participants, staff, and community observers rated participant moods, attitudes, and behaviours throughout the study. High-dose psilocybin produced large decreases in clinician- and self-rated measures of depressed mood and anxiety, along with increases in quality of life, life meaning, and optimism, and decreases in death anxiety. At 6-month follow-up, these changes were sustained, with about 80% of participants continuing to show clinically significant decreases in depressed mood and anxiety. Study participants attributed improvements in attitudes about life/self, mood, relationships, and spirituality to the high-dose experience, with 80% endorsing moderately or greater increased well-being/life satisfaction, which was further supported by community observer ratings showing corresponding changes.”

During the trip, the patient’s emotions and memories are brought up. The therapist can talk about them and the patient can also confront them, seeking meaning behind the visions. Dinah Bazer, a participant of the Hopkins trials in 2012 was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in 2010 and had gone through surgery and chemotherapy with a good prognosis, but was suffering from deep anxiety and was worried about a recurrence of the cancer.

“I saw my fear — it was a black mass under my rib cage, like a giant lump of coal. I erupted in extreme anger and said, “Get the f--- out of here. I won't be eaten alive!” I yelled it out loud. As soon as I did that, it was gone, and that fear has never come back”

This advancement in the medical use for psychedelic drugs like psilocybin, is a sign that we could be moving to a more natural type of therapy, using the body and mind to heal, something which indigenous tribal communities have done for centuries.

Indeed, many indigenous peoples believe that the disconnect between the mind and body can be remedied through the use of plants and fungi, as you connect to the same thing you were created from – the Earth. We need to see the importance of these cultures and the role they play in helping us wake up from our consumerist lifestyle. There is already work being done between Amazonian tribes and western groups. The Achuar community has been co-operating closely with a non-profit organization called Pachamama Alliance, working on safeguarding territory in areas of the rainforest as part of the Sacred Headwaters Initiative. The Achuar are a dreaming culture, who wake several hours before daylight to sit

around a fire and drink guayusa, a species of tree of the holly genus, native to the forest (one of three known caffeinated holly trees, which are dried and brewed into a tea). During this ceremony they sit and drink the tea and share their dreams with one another. They believe that dreams are very important, and they want to share this with the north. This has led to Pachamama Alliance to offer several educational seminars on how people in the US and Europe can move from consumerism to a more peaceful and less destructive way of life.

“The creation of the modern Western consciousness required a violent repression of our archaic heritage. That heritage includes the ability to explore sacred and magical realms through spontaneously occurring trance states, through rituals and initiations, or through visionary compounds found in certain plants. For many thousands of years, direct knowledge of the sacred was a natural and universal part of human existence, as it remains today in tribal cultures”

Poof Moments

Having the right dosage to send you into a heavy trip will lead to you coming away with a “poof” moment. A realisation and understanding about yourself, which is what makes this experience so magical. This happened to me at party a few years back, after taking about 150 mushrooms over the course of a night, I found myself sitting in a rather comfortable armchair, becoming unable to get myself out of that chair, I succumbed to falling further into it. During this odd hallucination, my mind was sparking off, thoughts were coming to me and I went back to my childhood. Wondering what has happened to me to not see beauty in everything, and to move through the day without noticing magical moments. I realised that I can still see the beauty in everything, just as I could as a kid. I just had to separate myself sometimes from the norms of life. I understood that this great entity of the human body, the ego, which separates us from any other species, giving us this power to think into the future and the past, is also our kryptonite. If we don’t step out of our ego from time to time, we will be stuck in the future and the past, these are places (in time) that we have no control over, and that only create pressure as we worry over them. For a month after that party, I felt a sense of freedom, free of my worries. I knew that I could sink back into it again, however, I now had the tools to help.

Where We Are

The problem humanity faces is a lack of consciousness, unaware of our true job of cultivating and protecting our home. As Danial Pinchbeck and Sophia Roklin write in ‘When Plants Dream’,

“We have reached a junction when we must collaborate to bring our world back into ecological balance. What we need is a miracle: a transformation of ourselves individually, and human consciousness collectively, to bring unforeseen possibilities into being”

Psilocybin creates these insights, they allow us to transcend our current mindset, and liberate ourselves from the constraints and expectations of modern life. The chaotic states you enter during a trip are beautiful, and by being able to let go of your ego, you can relax. Capitalism and consumerism are ways of controlling us, they are stopping us from waking up by keeping us locked in a cycle – the same cycle that is destroying the planet and all its wonderful creatures. If we want to wake up and become more

conscious, we need to see that chaos is not a threat, and by putting our materialistic lifestyle into perspective, we will hit a state of bliss.

I believe we are in a kind of global psychedelic renaissance, that I hope will welcome in a new British-psilocybin culture. Perhaps this will involve weekly psilocybin ceremonies, involving healing and initiations led by well-trained shamans and elders, whose knowledge of the fungi is passed on to future generations. This period in history could be one of cultural equality and community with people working together for the good of the planet, supporting one another and the environment, creating an oasis of biodiversity. In centuries to come, future generations could thank this period in history, seeing this renaissance as its turning point.

** It is up to you to decide if you want try psilocybin. No one else can make that decision for you and it should be done at a time when you feel ready. This powerful experience should not be taken lightly.

References:

Live Science – How Psychedelic Drugs Create Such Weird Hallucinations

Aeon Magazine – The Real Problem

Inverse - THE 'STONED APE' THEORY MIGHT EXPLAIN OUR EXTRAORDINARY EVOLUTION

Karastenia/Harry NYberge - Religious use of hallucinogenic fungi: A comparison between Siberian and Mesoamerican cultures

Wholecelium -- The Druids: Ancient Psychonauts

Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies (MAPS) – John Hopkins Study of Psilocybin in Cancer Patients

TIMES - I Took A Psychedelic Drug for My Cancer Anxiety. It Changed My Life

Danial Pinchbeck and Sophia Rokhlin - When Plants Dream

VICE - How the UK Fell Back in Love with Magic Mushrooms